Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable: Part 3: It’s Your LIFE

May 21, 2019May 22, 2019 LifeOfCarlyB2 Comments

In part 1 of this series, I talked about the importance of this simple concept, getting comfortable being uncomfortable, as it pertains to fitness. Part 1 was probably the most widely recognized and relatable concept, as it could and should pertain to everyone, because everyone can use a good kick in the rear to get started, keep going, or to work harder.

So, Part 1 was relatable.

Part 2, which was all about relationships, became a very relatable piece without people realizing it prior to reading. But once you started reading you began saying to yourself “yep, I agree with that” or “yep, I need to do that”.

So part 1 and 2 were both relatable, part 2 just took some extra digging.

Part 3 y’all, you’re likely going to need to dig deep. Dig deep because we don’t like to realize that we are being complacent with our lives, and the one and only shot we have at it. Unfortunately, more times than not, that is how we live our lives- complacent without realization.

In order to reach your full potential, to see what this world truly has to offer for you, to live out your life so wildly in love with it, you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. The changes you should be making in part here, they will be the most uncomfortable of all.

When you think about your life as is, what you’re doing, what you’re accomplishing, the people, events, and experiences you fill it with, what does it look like?

Does that match up to the goals, as lofty as they may be, that you have for your life?

Maybe you’ve got 1 area, maybe 2, where you can say “yes, THIS is how I want it to be for the rest of my life”. May that be your significant other, your kids, or where you live.

But what about the rest?

Do you have goals that are floating out there somewhere?

Maybe some within swimming reach.

Maybe some so far away that you’d have to rent out a yacht to get there.

Only, you can’t afford a yacht, so you leave them out there floating…. floating… floating…

So you tell yourself that you can’t afford that yacht, and that you will never be able to afford that yacht, because the risks, the sacrifices, and the effort it takes to afford that yacht are so far out of your comfort zone, it just doesn’t seem possible to you.

That is where getting comfortable being uncomfortable comes in.

THIS LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO UNCOMFORTABLE AT TIMES.

IT MEANS YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING NEW.

SOMETHING CHALLENGING.

SOMETHING SO WILDLY FRESH IT WILL AWAKEN YOUR SOUL AGAIN.

Here’s where we fail at getting uncomfortable:

___________________________________________________________________

The first step

May this be the first step out of your comfort zone.

The first step into a new interview.

The first step into a new home.

The first step literally anywhere.

We have a hard time taking it because we like our comfort zone. It’s warm and fuzzy like a newborn baby all swaddled up.

It’s comfortable until it’s not.

But there’s a minor part before this first step that we fail at before we can even fail at taking the first step, it’s realizing that a first step is needed in the first place.

How do you know? How do you know it is time to take the first step, that any part of your life even requires that first step? Here let me help you….

If you can answer “yes” to any of these questions, then you’re ready, and in need, of taking the first step:

Do you feel complacent in your job?
Do you feel complacent in your relationship?
Do you feel complacent where you live?
Do you feel complacent in your friend circle?
Do you dream of living somewhere else?
Do your day dreams take you far away from where you currently are (physically or mentally)?
Have you tried something new within the past year?
How about the past 6 months?
Have you lived your life according to your own terms?
If you lived the rest of your life, exactly where and exactly how you are now, would you be happy with it by the end of your life?

If you didn’t have one single “yes” answer, then you my friend are a gem. That means you’re living your life to the freaking fullest. You’ve grasped opportunity, you’ve found your tribe, you have found and understand the importance of YOUR happiness.

And if you didn’t have one single “yes”, go back through again to make sure you’re not lying to yourself.

And for those of you who did have a “YES”. Are you ready? Because it’s time to get stepping.

Here’s your cue, make the first step, and make it now.

Justifying our decisions

Once we’ve made that first step, for some wild reason, we feel the need to justify it. Both to ourselves and to our family and friends.

What’s wrong with that you might ask? I like to make sure I’m making the right decision, I like to let my family and friends in on it. FRIEND, NO. Just NO. Let your gut do the talking for one time in your whole freaking life. DON’T JUSTIFY IT. Tell yourself and your family that you are doing this because it is the best FOR YOU and you are so excited. Point blank, this feels right, and it feels right for you- RIGHT NOW. **Now, if there’s a significant other or kids involved, I hope you are all on board with it, maybe prior to making the decision to step**.

You’ve made the decision to take the first step out of your comfort zone and towards something more. Be proud as f*ck of that, wear that shit on your sleeve. And ignore the feeling to justify it.

It’s weird, isn’t? I’ve done it before, still feel the need to do it sometimes. We have grown into a society where we constantly have to explain ourselves. Social media is primarily to blame.

You’re moving? Got a new job? Cutting your hair? Cutting the cord on a friendship? Trying a new exercise routine? Sending your kids to a different school? Adopting a new dog? Taking a first step WHERE EVER?

Sweet good for you. You go Glen CoCo. Don’t explain it. Just do it. Shout it from the rooftops.

Coming to terms with it

Otherwise put, second guessing ourselves.

Unless you’re making a total on the spot, impulsive decision, then you’re giving yourself room to second guess yourself. I’m not saying to make every decision an impulse decision, not at all. I am telling you to prepare yourself to get uncomfortable again, the second time you have to make the decision to make the first step, or in this case, it’ll feel like the second step, out of your comfort zone.

We’ve all been there.

We make a decision, but it takes time to fully birth, so there is a period of time when we can second guess ourselves. Most of the time, we do. This is where it truly matters. I hope that you trust your gut enough, and trust your desire for more to not turn and walk back into your comfort zone.

Sometimes, in this period of coming to terms, we turn to those closest to us to talk about it. But beware, that can be equally helpful as hurtful. If this is a decision you made all on your own the first time, don’t let someone else talk you in or out of it. Is it uncomfortable being the only person to make that decision for yourself again? Hell yes. We like to feel secure in our decisions. But news flash, if you’re making a big life decision, you might not feel secure in that until months after. How freaking uncomfortable! Ride it out. Trust yourself, and trust the higher up. You might be uncomfortable for a few months, but that’s better than being uncomfortable knowing that you are still in the same freaking place as you’ve always been.

Running after you step

There is no turning back now. You’ve stepped, made the decision, shouted it from the roof top and squashed second guessing. It’s all in now.

Things will pick up speed, whatever this big life decision is, I promise you it will pick up speed. So lace up! It’s go time.

Take it from me, this part of being uncomfortable can turn into the most fun part. Things are spinning around you, but there is so much to see in that blur of newness and the unknown.

Had we not realized we wanted to leave Iowa and the Midwest to see what else was out there for us.
Had Alex not said yes to a job in Greensboro, NC.
Had I said no to going with him because I was so sad about the thought of leaving my friends and family.
Had we not moved to NC.
Had I not gotten a job at Orangetheory Fitness.
Had I not met people with connections to so much more.
Had I not started volunteering with animal rescue
Had we not done all of those things PLUS MORE we…. I…. wouldn’t be who I am today. I can tell you that I would be a slightly more bitter, more tired, less fulfilled version of myself who would constantly be thinking of the what-ifs and stuck in my day dreams.

But we went for it!

It was fast. I tried to hold on for dear life at times. But when I let go and let the rollercoaster of life take me where I’m supposed to be, when I laced up my shoes and ran with the wind, I learned to enjoy the ride. And holy hell what a ride it has been!

Was I uncomfortable at times? Hell yes.

I still am. Because we are still going for it, still saying yes to more and to new.

I like being uncomfortable. Because it means I’m feeling something new. It means I’m doing something new.

And with each step out of my comfort zone, that comfort zone grows smaller. It becomes a smaller zone to step back into, forcing myself to stay out of it.

And with each step out of my comfort zone, I’m getting closer to that yacht. Figuratively and literally. I will own a yacht someday. And when I do, I’ll grab that last piece of dream floating out there in the deep blue, only to find that there are more floating out there, ready for me to catch.

Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

It’s the only way to LIVE.

Cheers to living!

As always,   Thanks for stopping by!  If you want to be the first to know when these blogs drop  You can subscribe to my email list here  If you love it, please share to your social media!   You can tag me in it and find me on Instagram at @lifeofcarlyb_  Cheers & in health,  Carly B

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable- Part 1: Health and Fitness

May 6, 2019May 8, 2019 LifeOfCarlyB2 Comments

My favorite quote of all time:

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable.

Meaning, in the quickest explanation possible, that nothing can be achieved within your comfort zone. If you’re uncomfortable, embrace that, because it means something great is on the horizon.

In this 3 part series we will talk about what it means to get comfortable being uncomfortable in 3 different areas of your life. Your health and fitness, your relationships, and your life and lifestyle in general.

What makes us most uncomfortable in each area? Do we avoid whatever makes us uncomfortable because we don’t know how to handle it? Are we staying stagnant and going through monotonous efforts because we don’t know how to step outside of our comfort zone? More importantly, because we don’t know why we should step outside of our comfort zones?

The easiest and most obvious comfort zones that we can identify nowadays are those related to your health and fitness journey, which is why that is Part 1 of this series. Those comfort zones are what keep people from achieving their goals that they’ve had for a long time. The goals that they’ve written down at the beginning of each new year, resolving to finally achieve them, but don’t.

In order to step out of these comfort zones and launch ourselves on this great health and fitness journey, we first need to pin-point the areas that are holding ourselves back.

Generally, these are the areas where we feel the slightest ping of discomfort and we go running for the covers. Hiding from what could be. They can be broken down into physical and mental barriers.

The physical:

When your body actually feels, oh I don’t know, the actual effects of exercise

This one kind of baffles me. So many people go to the gym, yet they don’t push themselves to the points they need to. When was the last time you’ve gone outside of your routine in the gym (that is if you’ve been actually going to the gym)? It’s hard for people to feel levels of well, pain.

But here’s the truth:

The last few reps of your sets should be hard. If they’re not then you simply are not working hard enough. Put those 5 lb weights away that you’ve been using for the past year and pick up something heavier. But wait, that is where people lose it. When they get to rep 8 out of 10 in a set of bicep curls and their muscles are burning. It’s weird, so they stop at that 8th rep and drop their weight the next set they do. Wait what?!? That is not helping you grow, at all. It’s actually teaching yourself to accept failure. You let that feeling of discomfort win over you.

No my friend, those last few reps of each set should be challenging. Aim for the last 2-4 reps, depending on how many reps total you’re doing (the more reps total, the more challenging reps you’ll feel). Because if you find that the reps are getting challenging, it means you are challenging yourself. Get comfortable with that. That is where the magic happens.

And when doing cardio? You need to get comfortable with the feeling of your lungs burning. If you hop on the elliptical day after day and only break a light sweat, then you haven’t challenged your body to a new stimulus. Therefore, you will not improve, and your fitness goals will always be dangling in front of you – just out of reach. Try incorporating HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) into your workout. There will be points where you can’t speak more than a few sentences, that’s normal, don’t let that scare you. And when you really amp it up, there will be points where you can’t speak more than a few words. Again, that’s normal. All of the above (including some steady state such as the elliptical), need to be worked into your workout in a balanced format. Try doing some intervals – on a cardio machine, or with bodyweight cardio exercises. To program a HIIT workout, you can use the formats below, in order of beginner to advanced:

1:1 ratio= equal work and rest time

2:1 ratio= 2X the amount of challenging work to rest time

4:1 ratio= 4X the amount of challenging work to rest time

The above ratios can be seen in formats such as:

60:60 = 60 seconds of challenging work followed by 60 seconds of rest

60:30= 60 seconds of challenging work, followed by 30 seconds of rest.

60:15= 60 seconds of challenging work, followed by 15 seconds of rest.

or 30:30, 30:15, 30:10, 20:20, 20:10, and so on. As long as you have rest periods on there, you are working in a HIIT format.

In addition to creating your own HIIT workouts, you can also try publicly known workout programs such as Orangetheory Fitness, first class free!

*p.s. this is not an Orangetheory sponsored Ad, but I know first hand the amazing effects that can come out of it, in true HIIT fashion. Not to mention I’ve seen it first hand help people overcome every single one of the barriers listed in this blog 😉

And lastly, if your muscles are shaking, that isn’t a BAD thing! Shaking muscles while holding a plank or a wall sit? Yeah, your muscles are under constant contraction, and this is okay, as long as you are keeping good and proper form!

The mental:

“I’m scared”

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know where to start. I am probably the only person in this gym who hasn’t worked out before”.

You’re scared? Good. Use that and let it ignite the flame. Don’t use is as an excuse to turn towards the door and run. You’ve already paid the gym membership, you’re already at the grocery store. So don’t waste your money, or your time. Finish what you came to start.

If we all let our feelings of being scared dictate the ending of each situation we’re in, then we all would have walked into a job, felt scared, and turned right back around. We’d let that happen over and over again until we’re all unemployed and living under a bridge.

But what do you actually do when you’re scared and nervous on your first day at a new job? You run with it! You let it fuel you. You focus in on learning as if your life depends on it, because it kind of does. You are open to trying new things. And most importantly, you COMMIT to it.

So you’re scared as you walk into the gym? Let it fuel you. Let it help you learn new things. Let it open your mind (and body) to trying new things. Let it allow you to COMMIT.

Scared is a feeling of discomfort. But that’s what we’re looking for here aren’t we? Yes. So go run with it. Get comfortable with using your feelings of fright to launch you into something new.

“I’m not good enough”

I’m sorry, but good enough for what? The images you have in your head because social media has pounded them there? Yeah, okay, let’s stop that.

Let’s allow feelings of discomfort to come in for a moment to squash those images. I know, that’s a hard thing to do. Because you want to cling to those images to allow yourself to keep telling yourself you’re not good enough. Because with that, at least you have an excuse.

Not today Satan.

So go ahead, squash them. And then when you’re left with a clean slate. One where you can draw ANY image of yourself you want. Make it one you are proud of. And let me tell you, THAT can be one of the most uncomfortable things. Talking ourselves up, hyping ourselves up and dreaming big. But do it friend. The world needs more self-hype.

“I don’t know how to do it correctly”

This one can fall under both physical and mental, and it is the most logical barrier out of all of them. Bad form can indeed bring your fitness journey to a screeching halt. But what makes people the most uncomfortable is asking for help. But here’s the secret- ask for help! You don’t have to commit to hiring a personal trainer 4X a week, but every single gym [should*] have qualified professionals who can help you! In my years of working in a gym it has surprised me by how little people actually ask for help. I mean sometimes people don’t even ask how to turn on a machine. If it’s not on, it won’t work, and therefore- neither will you.

I think the biggest barrier here is that you might feel embarrassed for helping. But let me remind you that every single fitness professional, and every single long-term gym member all WERE BEGINNERS. None of us just “poofed” into the gym knowing how to use it all. We all had to learn. We all had those moments where we felt uncomfortable too. But the difference between your repeated efforts and repeated resolutions to telling yourself that “this is the year I go to the gym!” is that we actually sought out help. We learned. And now, we’re here to HELP YOU TOO! And if you find that someone is an asshole and not willing to help, politely tell them to fuck off, and then go ask someone more friendly (there’s always one asshole or one un-knowledgable person who only got the job because their mom is screwing the manager in each gym. I wish there wasn’t, but if you find them on the first try, just move onto to the next employee or a friendly well-versed member and ask for help!)

When it comes down to it, it’s talking to yourself and telling yourself that you are bigger than even your BIGGEST barrier. Mind > matter.

What’s your biggest barrier in actually going for your health and fitness goals? Identify it and read the paragraph corresponding to it above. And if you’ve identified a barrier that isn’t listed above (because had I listed out all barriers, you’d be here reading this for the next year) then reach out to me at lifeofcarlyb@gmail.com OR on Instagram at lifeofcarlyb_ and I’d be glad to help you find ways around those barriers.

But spoiler alert:

The first thing I’m going to tell you to do is….

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable.

Your true abilities don’t lie within those comfort zones.

They’re somewhere out there, behind each lie you tell yourself and each excuse, just waiting for you to grab them.

Just like how the juiciest apples could be sitting at the top of the tree, but no one wants to climb to get them.

Your greatest abilities could be sitting up there too, just out of reach if you stay in your comfort zone.

So go grab that apple friend.

Go grab it.

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(going over lifestyle and relationships comfort zones)

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