Is your check engine light on?

June 24, 2019June 24, 2019 LifeOfCarlyBLeave a comment

I’m talking about YOU.

YOUR check engine light.

The engine that needs tending to is your mind, your body, your spirit.

Maybe you don’t ever think about checking in with yourself like you would your car. Or maybe you know you need to, but you just….. don’t.

Recently, I had a conversation with someone I work with about taking better care of herself, and that meant learning how to start saying no. I felt confident in giving her this kind of advice because just a short 8 months ago is when I had this epiphany myself.

You’ve likely heard it before from other people… “Take care of yourself first” “you’re going to burn out” “you’re overloading yourself” and yadayadayada. And you might believe the words your family or friends are telling you. You might even see them as warning signs. But you believe in yourself and your resiliency more. So you keep going.

9 times out of 10 it will take some major life event, or some major breakdown for you to have the same epiphany as I did. And only then will you truly see that check engine light for what it is. A cry for help that is long overdue.

As I was texting back and forth with this coworker, she said to me:

“You’re so right. Such a hard thing to learn, especially when you’re young and everyone says ‘put your head down and grind it out’ “

And that’s exactly it. So many other people preach to be busy. They preach to grind grind grind with no rest, because while you’re resting someone else is working. We are told to try new things, say yes to everything because the moment we say no is the moment further opportunities cease to exist. We are told that we’re not experienced enough yet, but if we keep working for it, we might just get there. So head down, laser in the focus, and get to work. Who cares if your plate is overloaded. There’s no rest for the wicked.

But here’s the thing.

You can rest. Will other people put more hours of work in than you? Yes. Will other people work tirelessly for years on end with no quit? Yes. Will those people ever tell you that they too, are burned out? No. Because they too are being fed the same “grind it out, no rest” bullshit.

The difference between you, as a person who has learned to say “no”, and those people who you might admire that don’t ever say no is the quality of the work you put in.

When you say no to things that might only feed your soul temporarily, you leave room for the opportunities that fill your soul to the brim. You’ll become more excited about your work or tasks at hand because what you have chosen to say YES to is what you truly LOVE TO DO. You’ll be putting in your very best to those few yes items, while those around you might be only putting half effort into too many yes items and not enough no’s.

That same friend of mine said later in our conversation “I can’t have it all”. To which I replied, you CAN, you just can’t have it all at 110%.

Some things require 110%.

Other things you mistake for needing 110% because when you don’t give them 110% is when you are letting other people down. And that’s the problem. If someone else wants something to be 110%, you’re not required to put 110% in for the both of you. Let the other person make up the slack. You don’t have to dismiss the job, the duty, the relationship, etc from your life completely, just know it isn’t all up to you to fill it to 110%. or even 110%

Remember kids, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Fill your cup first.

you can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no

It’s not up to you to please everyone else.

It’s not up to you to clear other people’s plates so they can feel relieved while you overload your own plate.

It’s not up to you to make sure that any besides yourself is feeling alive, is feeding their goals, is on track to greatness.

The only thing that is up to you is YOU and how you choose to live each day.

So let’s say it again….

The moment you start saying “no” to things that don’t truly matter and won’t positively impact you, and start saying “yes” to yourself is the moment everything will change.

Not only will you be happier, because you will be less stressed. Your mood will lift, you’ll be more productive because you aren’t weighed down as much. You will think clearer, move with more efficiency and purpose. You will be a well oiled machine! And THOSE are the kind of machines that we need working. Those are the kind of engines that get you to your desired destination.

Empty tanks.

Engines with rusty old fuel.

Machines that are falling apart.

They will never work. They will never compare to the well oiled machine.

And you my friend, YOU’RE the machine.

And you’re the only machine that you need to focus on.

Because the other machines around you that appear to be well oiled and fully functioning, probably have deep issues far beneath the hood.

And to be completely transparent my friends, this is something I still work on daily. Is it true that I had an “epiphany” about 8 months ago that told me to chill out? Yes. But at the same time, grinding it out, helping others, loading my plate has been something I was proud to do for the past 8 years. It will take time to find the perfect balance. The hardest thing for me right now isn’t saying no, it’s the feeling of needing to justify why I am saying no. And that simply isn’t something that needs to happen. Saying no is a singular person’s decision, it impacts just one person, and YOU are that singular person. Not everyone needs to know your motives. So as I go on, I’ll keep saying yes to the blessings and no to the rest. And when I say no, I need to just leave it at that. To all my family, friends, and co-workers reading this, I hope you understand <3.

you are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm

Fill your cup.

Fill it.

Thanks for reading!

Do you too, feel like your check engine light is on?

Let's talk this one out

Email me at lifeofcarlyb@gmail.com

Or find me on Instagram @lifeofcarlyb_

Peace, love, happiness, and FREEDOM

❤ Carly B

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable: Part 3: It’s Your LIFE

May 21, 2019May 22, 2019 LifeOfCarlyB2 Comments

In part 1 of this series, I talked about the importance of this simple concept, getting comfortable being uncomfortable, as it pertains to fitness. Part 1 was probably the most widely recognized and relatable concept, as it could and should pertain to everyone, because everyone can use a good kick in the rear to get started, keep going, or to work harder.

So, Part 1 was relatable.

Part 2, which was all about relationships, became a very relatable piece without people realizing it prior to reading. But once you started reading you began saying to yourself “yep, I agree with that” or “yep, I need to do that”.

So part 1 and 2 were both relatable, part 2 just took some extra digging.

Part 3 y’all, you’re likely going to need to dig deep. Dig deep because we don’t like to realize that we are being complacent with our lives, and the one and only shot we have at it. Unfortunately, more times than not, that is how we live our lives- complacent without realization.

In order to reach your full potential, to see what this world truly has to offer for you, to live out your life so wildly in love with it, you need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. The changes you should be making in part here, they will be the most uncomfortable of all.

When you think about your life as is, what you’re doing, what you’re accomplishing, the people, events, and experiences you fill it with, what does it look like?

Does that match up to the goals, as lofty as they may be, that you have for your life?

Maybe you’ve got 1 area, maybe 2, where you can say “yes, THIS is how I want it to be for the rest of my life”. May that be your significant other, your kids, or where you live.

But what about the rest?

Do you have goals that are floating out there somewhere?

Maybe some within swimming reach.

Maybe some so far away that you’d have to rent out a yacht to get there.

Only, you can’t afford a yacht, so you leave them out there floating…. floating… floating…

So you tell yourself that you can’t afford that yacht, and that you will never be able to afford that yacht, because the risks, the sacrifices, and the effort it takes to afford that yacht are so far out of your comfort zone, it just doesn’t seem possible to you.

That is where getting comfortable being uncomfortable comes in.

THIS LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO UNCOMFORTABLE AT TIMES.

IT MEANS YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING NEW.

SOMETHING CHALLENGING.

SOMETHING SO WILDLY FRESH IT WILL AWAKEN YOUR SOUL AGAIN.

Here’s where we fail at getting uncomfortable:

___________________________________________________________________

The first step

May this be the first step out of your comfort zone.

The first step into a new interview.

The first step into a new home.

The first step literally anywhere.

We have a hard time taking it because we like our comfort zone. It’s warm and fuzzy like a newborn baby all swaddled up.

It’s comfortable until it’s not.

But there’s a minor part before this first step that we fail at before we can even fail at taking the first step, it’s realizing that a first step is needed in the first place.

How do you know? How do you know it is time to take the first step, that any part of your life even requires that first step? Here let me help you….

If you can answer “yes” to any of these questions, then you’re ready, and in need, of taking the first step:

Do you feel complacent in your job?
Do you feel complacent in your relationship?
Do you feel complacent where you live?
Do you feel complacent in your friend circle?
Do you dream of living somewhere else?
Do your day dreams take you far away from where you currently are (physically or mentally)?
Have you tried something new within the past year?
How about the past 6 months?
Have you lived your life according to your own terms?
If you lived the rest of your life, exactly where and exactly how you are now, would you be happy with it by the end of your life?

If you didn’t have one single “yes” answer, then you my friend are a gem. That means you’re living your life to the freaking fullest. You’ve grasped opportunity, you’ve found your tribe, you have found and understand the importance of YOUR happiness.

And if you didn’t have one single “yes”, go back through again to make sure you’re not lying to yourself.

And for those of you who did have a “YES”. Are you ready? Because it’s time to get stepping.

Here’s your cue, make the first step, and make it now.

Justifying our decisions

Once we’ve made that first step, for some wild reason, we feel the need to justify it. Both to ourselves and to our family and friends.

What’s wrong with that you might ask? I like to make sure I’m making the right decision, I like to let my family and friends in on it. FRIEND, NO. Just NO. Let your gut do the talking for one time in your whole freaking life. DON’T JUSTIFY IT. Tell yourself and your family that you are doing this because it is the best FOR YOU and you are so excited. Point blank, this feels right, and it feels right for you- RIGHT NOW. **Now, if there’s a significant other or kids involved, I hope you are all on board with it, maybe prior to making the decision to step**.

You’ve made the decision to take the first step out of your comfort zone and towards something more. Be proud as f*ck of that, wear that shit on your sleeve. And ignore the feeling to justify it.

It’s weird, isn’t? I’ve done it before, still feel the need to do it sometimes. We have grown into a society where we constantly have to explain ourselves. Social media is primarily to blame.

You’re moving? Got a new job? Cutting your hair? Cutting the cord on a friendship? Trying a new exercise routine? Sending your kids to a different school? Adopting a new dog? Taking a first step WHERE EVER?

Sweet good for you. You go Glen CoCo. Don’t explain it. Just do it. Shout it from the rooftops.

Coming to terms with it

Otherwise put, second guessing ourselves.

Unless you’re making a total on the spot, impulsive decision, then you’re giving yourself room to second guess yourself. I’m not saying to make every decision an impulse decision, not at all. I am telling you to prepare yourself to get uncomfortable again, the second time you have to make the decision to make the first step, or in this case, it’ll feel like the second step, out of your comfort zone.

We’ve all been there.

We make a decision, but it takes time to fully birth, so there is a period of time when we can second guess ourselves. Most of the time, we do. This is where it truly matters. I hope that you trust your gut enough, and trust your desire for more to not turn and walk back into your comfort zone.

Sometimes, in this period of coming to terms, we turn to those closest to us to talk about it. But beware, that can be equally helpful as hurtful. If this is a decision you made all on your own the first time, don’t let someone else talk you in or out of it. Is it uncomfortable being the only person to make that decision for yourself again? Hell yes. We like to feel secure in our decisions. But news flash, if you’re making a big life decision, you might not feel secure in that until months after. How freaking uncomfortable! Ride it out. Trust yourself, and trust the higher up. You might be uncomfortable for a few months, but that’s better than being uncomfortable knowing that you are still in the same freaking place as you’ve always been.

Running after you step

There is no turning back now. You’ve stepped, made the decision, shouted it from the roof top and squashed second guessing. It’s all in now.

Things will pick up speed, whatever this big life decision is, I promise you it will pick up speed. So lace up! It’s go time.

Take it from me, this part of being uncomfortable can turn into the most fun part. Things are spinning around you, but there is so much to see in that blur of newness and the unknown.

Had we not realized we wanted to leave Iowa and the Midwest to see what else was out there for us.
Had Alex not said yes to a job in Greensboro, NC.
Had I said no to going with him because I was so sad about the thought of leaving my friends and family.
Had we not moved to NC.
Had I not gotten a job at Orangetheory Fitness.
Had I not met people with connections to so much more.
Had I not started volunteering with animal rescue
Had we not done all of those things PLUS MORE we…. I…. wouldn’t be who I am today. I can tell you that I would be a slightly more bitter, more tired, less fulfilled version of myself who would constantly be thinking of the what-ifs and stuck in my day dreams.

But we went for it!

It was fast. I tried to hold on for dear life at times. But when I let go and let the rollercoaster of life take me where I’m supposed to be, when I laced up my shoes and ran with the wind, I learned to enjoy the ride. And holy hell what a ride it has been!

Was I uncomfortable at times? Hell yes.

I still am. Because we are still going for it, still saying yes to more and to new.

I like being uncomfortable. Because it means I’m feeling something new. It means I’m doing something new.

And with each step out of my comfort zone, that comfort zone grows smaller. It becomes a smaller zone to step back into, forcing myself to stay out of it.

And with each step out of my comfort zone, I’m getting closer to that yacht. Figuratively and literally. I will own a yacht someday. And when I do, I’ll grab that last piece of dream floating out there in the deep blue, only to find that there are more floating out there, ready for me to catch.

Get comfortable being uncomfortable.

It’s the only way to LIVE.

Cheers to living!

As always,   Thanks for stopping by!  If you want to be the first to know when these blogs drop  You can subscribe to my email list here  If you love it, please share to your social media!   You can tag me in it and find me on Instagram at @lifeofcarlyb_  Cheers & in health,  Carly B

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable- Part 2: Relationships

May 14, 2019May 14, 2019 LifeOfCarlyB3 Comments

I heard on the radio this morning that we peak at age 23 when it comes to making new friends.

it makes sense though, that’s the age when we are trying new things, out at the bars, just finishing college, starting new jobs and yadayadayada. But i say lets be above average! Don’t stop making new friends at 23. Hold true to your best friends but be open to new friends. But it’s sometimes awkward, I know. Which is why I’m here to tell you….

Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable.

Meaning, in the quickest explanation possible, that nothing can be achieved within your comfort zone. If you’re uncomfortable, embrace that, because it means something great is on the horizon.

In this 3 part series we will talk about what it means to get comfortable being uncomfortable in 3 different areas of your life. In part 1 we dove into what it means to be uncomfortable in your health and fitness journey and why it’s important.

Here, in part 2, we will talk about why getting uncomfortable in relationships, of any kind, is necessary.

What makes us most uncomfortable when it comes to starting and maintaining relationships? Why is it sometimes hard for us to make friends, feel comfortable around friends or significant others, etc? Do we avoid whatever makes us uncomfortable because we don’t know how to handle it? Are we staying stagnant and going through monotonous efforts because we don’t know how to step outside of our comfort zone? More importantly though, is that generally we don’t know why we should step outside of our comfort zones.

Let’s talk this one through shall we?

Relationships of any kind are not something we should force, that’s obvious. However, the are also something that we shouldn’t force to not happen. Often times we get so caught up in avoiding new relationships- with significant others or friends- because we like where we are currently and we are afraid of someone new coming in and throwing that equilibrium off balance. But how do you know that the person asking you on a date or asking you to hang out with their group of friends doesn’t have something amazing to offer? When it comes to relationships we like to be stubborn. Even more so, sometimes we get stubborn in how we protect our friendships. How many of you reading this have gotten jealous when your best friends has made a new friend? That’s nonsense!

We need to get comfortable being uncomfortable in 3 pieces of our personal relationships.

Making new relationships
Maintaining relationships
If necessary, cutting the cord

1) Making new relationships

This is the hardest part. By far. It’s hard putting yourself out there. But let me tell you friend, sometimes in life, this is an absolute necessity. I remember just 2 short years ago after moving across the country, I was faced with the task of making new friends. I mean I had to, I only knew my husband and my dogs in this large, new, and strange city.

So yeah, this is the hardest part, but here is why it’s the most important.

Those new friends that are out there somewhere on the horizon, they may have walked a similar path to you, and you don’t even know it. This becomes beneficial when you find yourself in a hard spot in life, and you need someone to talk to about it who has been in a similar boat. Trust me, that similarity in tough times is life changing.

Or those new friends out there could offer you something so much more. A new perspective on things, connections to someone or something that could help launch you into a new hobby, a new career, a new ______ you fill in the blank.

But meeting new people is hard. Whether it’s hanging out with a friend for the first time or going on the first date. Here are the excuses we tell ourselves as to why we shouldn’t even bother. And let me reiterate that they are just that- excuses. So once you’re done reading these excuses, I need you to burry them in your backyard.

I’m not sure we’re compatible.
We’re so different.
I don’t know anything about them.
I’m too busy to foster a new relationship.
I like being alone.
I can’t risk getting hurt again.
I don’t have to emotional capacity to even try this out.
I’m not outgoing enough.
I’m socially awkward.
They’re unlike all of my other friends

Have you thought one of those to yourself before? Likely. Now here’s reasons why all of those are bullshit.

But how do you know?
Isn’t that a good thing?
Now’s a great time to learn.
You have 30 minutes to spare. Just try it.
Chances are you don’t like to be alone 100% of the time. And hey, what if this person likes being alone most of the time too?
What a negative mindset that everyone is going to hurt you.
But do you have the emotional capacity to walk through this chapter of your life alone? You don’t like the idea of a support system?
Who said you have to be?
Maybe they are too. Here’s a secret: those are the best kinds of relationships/ friendships
GOOD! Expand your horizons!

Here’s the thing new friend. Making NEW FRIENDS is hard. Trying a new relationship is HARD. It’s the hardest part of all of this. So many unknowns come from the excuses listed above. But you’ve got to push past that. I can guarantee that half of my audience currently reading this are the friends that I made because I put myself out there. Most of you reading this never would have thought we’d be friends, I never thought we’d be friends. Because the truth is that my current friend group is the most wildly different friend group I’ve had in my entire life. In fact, put all of my friends from my first 24 years of life together and they still wouldn’t be as diverse as the friends I’ve made in the past 2 years. And you know what? I love it! It’s beautiful! I’ve met people from so many different walks of life- background, ethnicity, religious belief, sexual orientation, age, hobbies, etc. And it has been the wildest ride so far. But had I looked at any of them from first glance and used the “We’re too different” excuse. Then I wouldn’t have travelled halfway around the world with some of them, or experienced new things with others. You see my point?

If you feel a little awkward, and a little uncomfortable the first time hanging out with this potential new relationship, then good! You’re putting yourself out there. Hey, no one is saying you have to see them ever again, but at least you tried.

*and if you get along like lifelong sisters on the first hangout, even better!

*and I need to note that I think it is good to foster your longest term relationships, hold those close if you can. But just like we open new chapters of our lives book, we need to open room for new relationships in those chapters too.

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to finally say yes to that first date. To foster a new relationship. To dive in. This is it friend, THIS IS IT!

2) Maintaining Relationships

If only it were as easy as we are led to believe. BUT IT’S NOT.

You’ve been with your significant other for a year and a half now, and it’s all of a sudden no longer easy. Why? The newness wears off. Just like eventually a car will eventually lose its new car smell, your relationship will lose some newness too. But unlike a car, you can’t put an air freshener in it and it’s magically new.

When it comes to maintaining relationships you have to be both selfish and selfless. Selfish in knowing what you deserve, and selfless in knowing what the other person deserves. It’s like walking a tightrope across the grand canyon at times. You’re wobbling just to get there, to the other side with your partner, but on the way you hit some road blocks. A gust of wind comes and nearly knocks you completely off, a bird flies across and shits on your shoulder, your partner moves faster than you, changing the slack between you two. But don’t get knocked down, understand that sometimes it does feel like you have shit sitting on your shoulder, find a way to eliminate that slack.

I am no relationship guru, I won’t even pretend to be. But what I do know is that a relationship of any kind is a two way street. Where we most commonly lose our footing is when we feel that it is no longer a two way street and instead of expressing those feelings, we turn into little school girls and think “well if they’re not going to try, then I’m not going to either”

The biggest thing I’ve learned is that no one can read your mind. So SAY WHAT YOU’RE FEELING. Oh, you don’t want to? Why? Oh right, because it’s uncomfortable.

So instead of speaking what you feel, instead of working to shorten the distance between you two, instead of fighting to stay upright, you let the fear of being uncomfortable knock you off and make the distance between you further than ever.

Talk it out my friend.

And then do it again, and again.

If it’s worth your worry, then it’s worth your time.

If you spend more than one second thinking about it, then it means you care.

But don’t get caught up in what used to be, that was then and this was now.

If your relationship is falling apart, if you feel distant from your friend, and you don’t like it, then it is on YOU to try to work it out. It’s worth the shot, trust me.

3) Cutting the cord

There will come times when you have to cut the cord. The reason people don’t do this as much as they should isn’t necessarily because it’s uncomfortable, it’s because they don’t realize its needed. We get blinded by what we think “it is” and don’t realize what actually is. Here’s how you can tell if it’s time to cut the cord in any of your relationships:

Do you feel drained of energy when you’re around this person?
Does this person no longer serve your dreams, hopes, etc.?
Can you see this person in your life 5 years from now?

I’ve had to cut the cord multiple times in my life. The most uncomfortable thing about the act of actually doing this is that other people won’t agree with you. Once we realize it’s needed, generally we ignore that. Because now it’s not the fact that we don’t realize that it should be done- because we do realize it- it’s that we don’t know how to handle the discomfort of it. So yeah, I’ve cut the cord before. I’ve had people in my life that drained the freaking shit out of me. They didn’t serve much of a purpose before, they didn’t support me or my dreams. Sometimes, they slowly slipped out of my life, and other times it was as fast as literally cutting a cord.

The other hard part about this? Is the fine line between trying to maintain the relationship and cut it. The difference between points 2&3 is that you fully realize that the relationship is worth your effort in point 2, vs. knowing that the relationship is draining you in point 3. Know how to spot the difference. Allow yourself a few moments, weeks, or months to assess how this person truly makes you feel. Note how you feel when you’re around them vs. not around them. If it’s astronomically different, well, then you know what you need to do.

And, if while reading this last section, you had someone in your mind the whole time, take a look at that relationship. I’m not trying to tell you to start cutting wildly like a child cutting a snowflake out of a piece of paper, but I am trying to tell you to focus on your happiness. Who brings that? Who doesn’t?

Relationships are hard work.

But if you never try, you’ll never know.

Thanks for reading! I know this was a long one.  If you found any of this relevant to you- share it!  And then share with me what was helpful.  I love that :)  And to read Part 1, click here   & for more from CarlyB, you can subscribe to my email list  In health, Carly

The Truth About Finding My Path After College

May 9, 2019May 9, 2019 LifeOfCarlyBLeave a comment

Graduate college they said, it’ll be fun they said.

But DAMN life after college can be a whirlwind!

I graduated exactly 4 years ago today. Ironically, I found this very blog post in my drafts from- 2 YEARS AGO! I started this but never finished. I guess I didn’t find my voice completely enough to publish it.

Even more ironic? Every bullet point listed below is still true today. I’m still baffled by how different adulthood is from college life. It’s like the second I graduated I was thrust into adulthood without a how-to guide, without any warning. It was like being pushed off of a cliff and being expected to know how to fly.

My question to those who have been doing this for awhile is…. when does it feel normal?

Like I’m 26 and I still don’t want to be an adult. Do I like the freedom of it, and the feeling of making BIG strides and awesome new accomplishments? Absolutely! But damn, where is my mom when I need her! When I’m behind on laundry and haven’t even started dinner yet. When I’m so exhausted that I zombie mode it through work. And let me tell you friends- I don’t even HAVE KIDS YET! Good Lord help me.

I try to stay optimistic and happy all the time, but forgive me for being human, some things are just challenging! I know for damn sure that I’ve realized adulthood has come with a few realizations…..

-8AM is nowhere near an early time anymore

-Going to bed at 10 is the glory of all things glorious, and the thought of getting ready to go out on the town on a Wednesday night at that time is enough to make me fall asleep standing up on some days

-A relaxing Sunday is getting all of the household chores done, leaving me, and my house, feeling refreshed for the week ahead

-Since when is grocery shopping fun (most of the time)?

-Oh bills, right, I have those now

-AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT LOANS!

-Which job do I apply for? Do I qualify? What if I don’t? I double majored in college, certainly there is something out there

-Oh, you mean to tell me that my dream job doesn’t exist until I gain more than four years experience of college studies in my field?

-And let’s not even talk about that word metabolism. I’m only 26 for goodness sake! How can I see the results of a slowing metabolism already!

-And don’t get me started on hangovers. For anyone under 25 reading this. IT ALL CHANGES OVER NIGHT. Holy shit, I can’t imagine 30-year-old hangovers.

-Fewer true friends are better than a hundred fake ones- cliche I know, but totally true

-Surrounding yourself with like-minded people will be your saving grace on some days

So yeah, things are different once you graduate college. Weekends are no longer for partying, Thursday’s are no longer for “pre-weekend partying”, and Monday’s are no longer dreaded for an early 8AM class wake up call.

Rather, Monday’s are now for the go-getters. I might not be exactly sure where my career path will lead me in the next 5 years, or hell where my life will lead me, but I do know what I’m passionate about. So on Monday’s I GO-GET-IT. And on Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s, Thursday’s and so on. I wake up early, go to work, and help people achieve their fitness goals. And I do it day after day. But in between all of that I volunteer in animal rescue, I write these here blogs, I read, I walk my dogs, I binge watch New Girl with my husband, I grab drinks with friends, I travel and take in new experience, and I sweat like a mad woman at Orangetheory Fitness. I have no idea if any of those things will get me somewhere farther in my career in the future, or if they’ll impact my life in the future. But that’s not what it’s about. The Go-Getting, the life-enjoying, the self-improving, that make me damn happy right now. And right now is my favorite place to be.

The truth about finding your path after college:

it’s not actually about finding a path to walk on like everyone else. It’s discovering an unfinished path that looks crazy and curvy and all over the place. But the unknown in that path is what makes you see the potential in that path’s adventure, so you take it anyway. You pave that path along the way. And when the work gets too tiring to keep paving on your own. You kick back for a few, relax with a mimosa and give it to God to lay the next few stones for you.

I spent too much of my time focusing on how different life after college was compared to the 22 years before that I sometimes missed the beauty of it. Did I find spots where I felt financially depleted? Yep. Did I work jobs that made me want to pull my hair out every day? Yep. Was I struggling, exhausted, and emotionally depleted at times? Hell yes. But here I am. Standing tall, even if I still don’t have the slightest bit of clue what tomorrow might bring me. News flash, no one does. Not one single person. So in midst of the struggles somedays I remind myself of everything I’ve done, accomplished, and been to. And then I remind myself of my hopes and dreams. And I work for them, I work towards them, while simultaneously folding my husbands underwear and rescuing a dirty sock from my dogs mouth.

Adulthood will never feel normal. I’m convinced. There won’t be a moment where I’ll be like “ah so this is how to handle adulthood”, but that’s the beauty of it. I’ve decided on that very answer. It’s not supposed to be the same way for everyone. It’s not supposed to be the same every single year. But I’m here like “Hey look Ma I made it!”.

Adulthood if a fucking whirlwind.

But you can do it

….I whisper to myself as I go to sleep

Balance is… Having a Mimosa in Each Hand

April 18, 2019April 18, 2019 LifeOfCarlyBLeave a comment

BALANCE.

What a f*cking buzzword right now, am I right?

It’s something I’ve practiced, and something I’ve preached for years now.

But now? Someone will look at a cupcake while drinking an ounce of water and #hashtagbalance

It’s cool, I want you all to have balance. I want you all to experience the freedom that comes with balance.

But let’s talk about what balance actually is, and how you can achieve it.

And friend, I’m not talking about finding balance between the hours you spend in the gym and the amount of donuts you put in your mouth like the 15.4M hashtags on Instagram suggest. I’m talking about balance in your f*cking LIFE.

Oh yeah, I’m fired up.

Finding life balance: how do we do it? What does it look like?

Well, it looks different for everyone.

To someone, it could be learning to allow themselves to enjoy a burger on the weekend, without running 10 miles the next day to work it off. To them, that’s a balance win, simply enjoying that burger. Because in the past, their need for self-control would have taken over, and they would have eaten half a salad and brought the other half home for lunch the next day, all while watching their friends gorge themselves in nachos and beer.

To someone else it’s letting go of toxic relationships. Because they understand the value of living their life for THEM. The value of being surrounded by uplifting people. They’ve learned that their life has been out of balance for awhile now, so they looked around them at what could be throwing that equilibrium off kilter.

Or for someone else it’s letting their mom watch their 4-month-old child for a few hours so they can go to the gym and then get a massage. It’s the balance of being a good mom by taking care of their child while also being a good mom while taking care of themselves.

Or to a yogi, balance might quite literally mean the ability to stand on one’s head.

To me? Balance is doing whatever the f*ck I please, not recklessly, but in a way where I don’t have to overthink it. If I want to have late night pizza two nights in a row after drinking beer and Malibu all day, like I did last weekend, I can. My lifestyle supports that. I drink water like a fish every day. So much that I probably piss out enough clear water to hydrate an underdeveloped country. I work out hard, and smart, 4-5 days a week. My lifestyle supports my desire to indulge when I want and where I want.

To me, it is also staying in with my husband on a Friday night and then going out with the girls on Saturday. Life, and relationships, demand balance too.

To me, it is sleeping in on my days off to catch up on that deeply needed sleep. Even if my schedule says it’s time to workout, if my body needs sleep, it gets sleep (as much as I can manipulate my schedule to allow that though. This is the hardest area for me to find balance).

To me, it’s giving myself some leniency in my daily checklist. Sometimes I just can’t get everything done. Some days I volunteer with animal rescue, but that means I don’t have time to walk my dogs. That day. Some days I clean the whole freaking house, and some days I only clean up after my dinner mess and go watch New Girl instead of vacuuming the floors. Some days I win the mental battle of looking on the bright side of things, and other days I don’t. Some weeks my days balance each other out. Good day, then bad day, back to a good day. Quite frankly, balance looks different on each given day, because each day demands something different out of me. But that, that, is the beauty of balance. It’s figuring out where there are high and low points that don’t meet the equilibrium. Sometimes, often times, it’s about looking at the bigger picture. What you learn to balance today will help you learn to balance the bigger picture, and that bigger picture is your life.

And that’s my point.

Balance is more, balance is so freaking much more.

I want you to have balance in multiple aspects of your life. Hell, I even want you to find a way to balance those aspects of your life out. To find a point where all areas of your life can coincide in harmony, without one pulling and weighing you down harder than the other. Woah, big statement, I know.

Here’s some ways to start:

1) Look at the areas of your life that are draining you, first.

Where can you cut the cord, where can you improve? Let’s start there. Because likely, these areas that are draining you are some of the biggest aspects of your life. It’s best to balance out the largest scale you have first, then work on the smaller ones. Because if you start small, you might miss the point when they become balanced, because other, unbalanced areas, will be weighing them down disproportionally.

2) Look at how you treat yourself.

Out of everyone you come in contact with, do you treat yourself the most poorly? Are you treating yourself like dirt, not giving yourself a break, running yourself into the ground? I’m going to answer that for you. Yes, you are. We all do it. We are all hardest on yourself. Now this isn’t a quick fix, but look for the area that you can give yourself a double high five in first. Have you been making progress in the gym? Double high five! Now stop beating yourself up over those last few pounds (because news flash, they actually don’t matter!). Is your relationship at its highest point ever? Are you and your significant other thriving together (maybe at the cost of some friendships, but hey cut that cord). Okay, cool, double high five! How about your job? Your kids? Your mental health, sleep health, skin health, etc.? Chances are you have been making big strides in at least one area of your life, but you haven’t been able to see it because you have been tearing yourself down for so long, over so many things. It’s time to start realizing when progress is happening, and freaking celebrate!

3) Learn this definition, & remind yourself of it daily:

Balance: (noun)

an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.

You my friend, you are the “something” that needs to be upright and steady. Not leaning on something or someone. You don’t need a crutch, you just need you, standing upright and steady like a damn brick wall, all by your damn self!

4) Now write this down on a sticky note and post it every freaking where:

“I am the writer of my own storybook”.

In case you forgot, the only person who can change the trajectory of your life is YOU, and God, but He knows where you’re going long before you do, and He wants to watch you see yourself through it.

5) And finally, buddy up!

I believe everything in life is better with a buddy, but only if that buddy is vibing the way you are. If you’re trying to be better about finding balance with your nutritional choices, don’t do it with a buddy who will always encourage the unhealthy choice. If you’re trying to find balance with taking care of your family while taking care of yourself, a buddy who mom shames is not the buddy for you. You get the point?

Balance is freedom. It is not a free for all.

To have balance you must be able to know when you need to subtract or add things from each side. When one side is too heavy, it feels too heavy, it weighs you down.

Freedom to say yes to things that positively affect your life.

Freedom to do things that lift you up instead of bring you down.

Freedom to feel guilt free, to not overthink, to just simply be.

Balance is having a mimosa in each hand my friends.

One for you, and one for your buddy.

Or maybe two for you, if that’s how you’re vibing that day, it’s okay to be selfish

Don’t think too hard about it. Just pour the bubbly into those cups. Maybe bubbles aren’t your thing, maybe you’d rather fill your cups with water, a bloody mary, or an ice cold fountain pop. Whatever it may be, I need you fill your cup, fill it to the brim baby! But make sure its filled to the brim with the very best. Fill those cups with a smile and positive energy.

Most importantly, make sure that all of your cups are filling equally.

Because no one likes to get gypped on mimosas.

Thanks for reading friends

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Different Friends Exist for Different Phases of Life

March 28, 2019March 29, 2019 LifeOfCarlyBLeave a comment

& Why it’s Okay to Have Different Friends Through Different Life Phases

Some of you reading this may still have the same best friend that you met in Pre-K. And that’s freaking awesome.

Other’s like me, have had different friends in different phases of life, and only a few have transitioned from phase to phase. And the only ones who have been with me literally my whole life are my 2 bestie cousins (and my fam-bam of course too). But hey, at least we’re lucky that we like our family enough to call them best friends.

I used to think that having the same best friend throughout life was THE THING TO STRIVE FOR. And I never had that. Ask me in high school if you thought I’d be best friends with my high school (and middle school) best friend forever and I would have said heck yes. In fact, I’m pretty sure everyone in our high school would have thought that.

But just like we have phases of our lives for a reason,

I believe that we also have phases of friends for those phases of our lives for a reason.

It goes with that saying “Everything happens for a reason”.

The way I see it, there are certain friends that I think everyone needs throughout their life. Those friends are as follows:

1. The Lessons

Most of the time, you won’t realize these friends are only serving the purpose of giving you an important life lesson until long after the friendship has ended.

Sometimes, the lessons here will be huge. These friends might hurt you so hard that the only way you can come out of the friendship is to be stronger than you were before. The friends that serve the hardest lessons may present themselves in ways of: backstabbing you, throwing you under the bus (maybe literally if we’re talking about the movie Mean Girls), hooking up with your ex, or worse your current significant other, or just being a downright soul-sucking friend.

On the other hand though, the lessons from these friends might not be as huge. It might be that you simply grow as a person while being friends with these people, and as you grow you realize that you’ve got to leave some baggage behind. It’s not necessarily a bad thing for either one of you, you just grow and realize who you are and what kind of friends you need most.

2. The Dick Heads

Generally, these people will also fall into the category of the “huge lesson learned friend”. But I think these friends deserve a category all on your own.

Have you ever looked back on a friendship an thought “Why was I EVER friends with them?!” All they did was made fun of me, bail on plans, steal by friends or my boyfriend / girlfriend, and made me feel like absolute dirt about myself? Ya, those are the dick head friends. And if you’re reading this and are thinking “hm, that sounds like a friend I currently have” run fast, run far, cut that cord of negativity honey!

3. Your Wannabes

and I’m not talking about people who wanted to be like YOU I’m talking about people who you wanted to be like . Why strive for that?! Let’s be honest though, we all had those ‘friends’, likely in grade school or somewhere around there. I know I did. We’d get so freaking excited when we got invited to their birthday parties, or if they asked us to hang out, or oh heck yeah they talked to us- in school! And don’t even get me started on when they let you borrow their clothes- but wait, was that just a cool thing to me?! These friends, and the fact that I’d be willing to be my bottom dollar that everyone reading this had one of those friends, were necessary. They stemmed, in my opinion, from the bullshit comparison game that society has drilled so far into our head. So while we were comparing our right eyebrow to the left, and comparing those 2 eyebrows to the pair on the model in the magazine you’re trying to mimic, we were also comparing ourselves against other people and basing it off of who we were friends with. Were we cool enough? What was cool anyway? And why did a person measure that?

4. The best friend you lost for, well you’re not sure why

Again, this may just apply to me, but I like to believe i’m not the only one. Let’s circle back to the beginning of this blog, “Ask me in high school if you thought I’d be best friends with my high school (and middle school) best friend forever and I would have said heck yes. In fact, I’m pretty sure everyone in our high school would have thought that.”

^^^TRUE. Shortly after graduating high school my best friendship I ever had fell apart. And months and then again years later, when we had spoken about what had happened, neither one of us knew why.

I’m not going to lie, or leave this line out for the sake of her possibly reading this, that hurt. My best friends now-a-days I sometimes find myself seeing her, and our friendship in. The friendship is over, but I cherish the memories we had, so much.

5. The one’s who got you through high school, you simply wouldn’t have survived without them

These are the ones who were always there for you even when you were trying to run circles around them to get just one lousy invite to the “wannabes” party. The ones you’d pass notes with in class (Dear God, I just realized that this probably doesn’t happen anymore. God help our younger generations and their attachment to their phones), the one’s you’d pee your pants laughing with at the lunch room table (oh wait, was that just me again?!), the one’s you’d get together with every weekend and still not get bored. The one’s you likely don’t talk to much anymore, you’ve just gone your separate ways. But if your paths crossed again, you’d likely be able to still carry on a conversation better than you can with most of your current coworkers.

6. and then there’s the ones who got you through college (spoiler, this is likely going to be your first college roommate)

Let me first point out that from here on out, I have started to incorporate pictures, because I’m getting to the point (in my life at least) that some of these friends have carried over into the next phase of my life.

And so there’s the first college roommate, eh em, I mean the friend that GOT YOU THROUGH COLLEGE SISTA.

From day 1 you explored your Whole New World together. You figured things out together. You tried new things together. And as you grew into your college years, you each found your niche, but you never lost touch (or maybe never stopped living together). This girl right here, was one of the greatest friends I had in college, because she was the most steady friend I had in college. Even when I failed to realize how freaking awesome she was and lived with other people after our first year together, we NEVER. LOST. TOUCH. Just 8 months ago she stood beside me as I married my best friend. Funny how fate works, because us rooming together was a LITERAL TOUCH OF FATE. Okay, fine I’ll tell you how it was fate (I have typed and erased this part multiple times, but here it REMAINS!)

It was a Saturday night & I was waitressing at the local watering hole in my home town. I was 19, and actually still at home going through my first year of college at community college. But I had decided to venture out the next year finally and go to the University of Northern Iowa. On this night, my parents were eating dinner at the watering hole and in walked a couple from the neighboring town that they knew. They got to talking and realized that like me, THEIR DAUGHTER TOO WAS GOING TO UNI. I knew this family, I actually hung out with their son (Lannon’s brother) frequently, we had the same friend group. Long story short, my parents said that I had a roommate who I didn’t know like anything about, and Lannon did not have a roommate. They called me over in between my tables, and we decided in a few seconds flat that I would reach out to Lannon to be roommates. So I went into the break room, pulled out my phone and Facebook Messaged her to be roommates- and she was at her PROM that night! (insert laughing face emoji here). Obvi it worked out, because this many years later we can still laugh about that night as well as the memories we had after

Universe, thank you for letting that play out like it did.

7. And on the other hand, the ones who got you into trouble in college

I’m not saying much about this one, because some things are just better left unsaid….. 🙂

But there were the friends who literally got you in trouble (lucky for me, in my case, I was watching people get in trouble around me and didn’t actually fall into much of it myself). And there were also a few Dick Head friends in college (spoiler: you’ll run into those your whole life).

when it comes to these college friends and the stupid shit we did, I just have one thing to say: We were still maturing okay..?!

8. Your first adulthood friend

Oh chelsinator. Most people think we were college friends but NOPE.

Your first adulthood friend is kind of…. astronomical. It’s like “hey I can do this thing called adulthood, and when I’m having a hard time figuring it out, I now have this person, MY PERSON to help me figure it out!”

This is one of the most important friends in my opinion, because as you are going forward into the cold, cruel world, it’s important to have someone beside you (even outside of your significant other) to help you navigate.

If you don’t have this friend yet, just wait you will. But let me tell you now- don’t ever let them go. You’ll need them to know you, and your tendencies. You’ll need them to encourage you to go for your dreams, or pull your head out of your ass when you’re having a rough day (or week or year). You’ll need them to grow with you. Someday you’ll become parents (or aunts /uncles or fur-parents) together, and you’ll need them to talk through all of the ups and downs of that phase of your life. You’ll simply need them to relate. Because chances are, you’ve found this first adult friend because you both were either in the same phase of your life, or you were transitioning into the next phase of your life at the same time. Something connected you, you can relate.

Don’t let your first adulthood friend go. They’ll prove to be too important to you. Even as phases of life change, I hope, I sincerely hope, that if you were ever able to carrying one friend over from phase to phase, that this one is it.

9. The friend you made when you needed most

I am not sure this friend knows she came into my life when I needed most. She’s my first adult friend, in my new adult phase. I had moved 1,000 miles away from all previously mentioned friends and family and me, being the social butterfly I am, needed to find friends fast. NOT A PROBLEM HERE! But when my mom got sick (and is now better!) I realized that I had met this friend, because we shared a common ground there. Even if we didn’t talk about it much, I had comfort in knowing that we could.

Maybe you’re struggling, or feeling lost and alone, like you’ve got no one to turn to but want someone so desperately bad. My advice to you, is to not look to hard for someone to help. This person, the friend you need the most, will come when you aren’t looking for it. The universe works to help us out, I believe that to be true.

10. The friends you’ve found along the way who you never saw yourself being with, but you know that you were MEANT to be friends

Like how did we become friends?! And how are we best freaking friends.

You want to know my favorite part about adulthood friends? They never stop coming. Just when you think you’ve got your squad all tied up, no more entries, no more free passes, the universe throws another one your way. Maybe you move, or start a new job, or try out a new gym. There will be a new friend there for you, and you won’t be expecting it.

But I love how these adult friends keep coming, and in my case, they arrive in the strangest and most unique packages I could have ever imagined.

My other favorite thing about these adult friends? Now that we’re older and mature (at least I hope you are!) we’re confident that these friends, these are for life. Regardless of…. well anything.

11. The best friend you found in your significant other

My best friend of over 6 years now, but after 3 weeks of dating I knew I’d be best friends with him for life. I call myself very lucky for that.

If you don’t have a best friend in a significant other, because you don’t have a significant other yet. Let me just remind you of one important word there- yet. Just like I need you to not look too hard for the friend you need the most, don’t look too hard for this best friend either. Just like the phases of your life, these friends will come on their own terms. Let the puzzle fall into place.

12. The best friends you’ve had all along

Like I said at the beginning, some of you are lucky enough to have had the same best friend through it all. Well, me too technically. They’re called family.

We’ve got Lauren. My younger cousin of 1 year on my dad’s side

We’ve got Jordan. My older cousin of 3 years on my mom’s side

We’ve even got my brother. Who I take great pride in being best friends with.

I know all 3 of these friends are a unique situation for me, because I’d bet many of you reading this don’t even like your family! And that’s okay. Even if you don’t have a #12 friend, I hope you don’t dwell on that, because think of all of the other friends you have. And I feel like this is as good of place as any to say it’s not about the quantity of friends you have, it’s about the quality.

13. Your work friends

Because let’s be honest, these are more important than the high school or college friends. You simply would not be surviving another day in your musty smelling, too dull, or entirely too obnoxious office where you’ve likely spilled coffee on yourself, or others, more than once. These friends count when it matters! They keep your too-busy adulthood brain SANE!

And a bonus one for me….

14. The best friends you’ve found in your dogs 🙂

and a double bonus

15. My Parents

As you go forward with your life, and you start to see your friendships changing, and more importantly, you start to see yourself changing. Don’t dwell on the fact that change is happening. Embrace that.

These different phases. These different friends. They are what shape us into the beautiful works of art we were meant to be all along.

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Enjoying Your Vacation

June 4, 2018May 7, 2019 LifeOfCarlyBLeave a comment

Like really enjoy it. Enjoy the shit out of it. Check your worries and to-do lists at your front door when you leave. In fact, lock them in the house, leave them there for when you return.

Get rid of your mentality that vacation will always leave you feeling a little guilty. Don’t set yourself up for failure. Don’t fear the vacation.

Your vacation is meant to be enjoyed. It isn’t meant to be about counting every calorie to ‘stay on track’. It’s not about feeling bad for having that local burger, or that craft beer, or for not getting one single workout in the whole time.

Yes, I write a blog about health and fitness. I have an Instagram dedicated to that. I run a business on it.

But I also understand the glory of flexible dieting and flexible mindsets. I believe that if you plan vacations and fear them for the potential to throw you off track then you will never enjoy another vacation in your life. But it’s good that I believe in the 80/20 rule, in flexible dieting, in giving yourself a break.

BUT there are ways to enjoy your vacation AND feel darn proud for the decisions you make while there. I’m not saying your vacation is either a total fail (health & fitness wise) nor is it a seamless & perfect trip of nothing but salads and water.

There are ways to enjoy your vacation and not drive yourself crazy while doing it.

Here’s how:

Last weekend I went to Myrtle Beach with some family and friends. We’re all adults with full time jobs, bills to pay, and too little hours in the day. So a vacation was so needed. And you know what? We didn’t hold back. We had pizza, and fried food, and beer, and rum, and tequila, we stayed up late, and were outside ALL. FREAKING. DAY. (My body is still burnt). It was great.

And you know what? We may have gotten to the end of our vacation thinking “holy shit I didn’t do one healthy thing that whole time”. But we did, we just had to take a step back to see it.

We got our exercise in unusual ways. We played a friendly game of sand football, we went for a 2 mile walk just to wake up one morning, we walked more steps than my FitBit could even count for. We drank some water in between the booze, we had some fruit, we made homemade guac, and we got some pretty decent sleep.

The reason we were able to do those healthy things is because it was part of our routine. For months and years now most of us have lived in the healthy lifestyle. We workout consistently and cook healthy meals for ourselves. It has become routine- and a good routine at that.

So when it comes time to vacation we aren’t the ones crash dieting for the beach, no we go about our normal lives. And because of that we are able to spill over some of those naturally healthy choices in between all the fun of vacationing.

I believe that crash diets set you up for failure in more ways than one. You gain more weight back than what you lost (but that’s a story for a different time) and you lose all control when it comes to events that are outside of your routine. Because of the crash diet, your mind breaks down and you don’t even know which way is up, let alone choosing a healthy option.

So when it comes to enjoying your vacation, my number 1 tip?

Don’t treat it as a one time ordeal. Lead up to it with good intentions, get in a good routine. And you won’t even feel like you are failing yourself by choosing that burger for dinner because guess what? Been there done that. It’s called the 80/20 lifestyle that you live.

Beyond that, I asked my friend Kristen (co-founder of The WHEYSTED Girls Project) to help me make a list of how to enjoy your vacation.

Treat it as just another one of your “cheat meals”. You’ve worked hard for this, why not enjoy it?
Pack water. If you pack it, you will drink it
Pack fruits and veggies. Again, if you pack it you will eat it.
Choose one meal for the day that will be your “go out” meal. For us? It’s usually dinner. This helps save you calorie wise and saves your wallet. For the other meals, pack your own food. We packed oatmeal, toast and peanut butter, eggs, deli sandwiches, chips and salsa and guac, and fruit- all for us to eat at home (or on the beach!)
Go for walks. Not only does it get you moving, but if you’re in the business of drinking all weekend it will give you a little break in between the alcohol consumption- and that break can save you from a super nasty hangover the next day. OR if you wake up with a hangover – go for a walk! The fresh air will do you good.
If you want to eat healthy- then do it!! Just make sure you want to
Piggy-backing off of that, if you choose a salad at dinner at the people you are with make fun of you for it- F*ck em, don’t listen to them. You do you boo boo.
There ARE *healthier* beverage choices—Michelob Ultra’s/Corona Premier, Truly’s (or other spiked waters). If you want to avoid beer altogether, opt for a frozen concoction using REAL fruit, low calorie/no sugar mixers, and do some research about lower calorie liquors (shout out Blue Chair Rum!!!)
Replenish your electrolytes. Sitting in the sun and having some drinks dehydrates you quickly. Grab some Powerade/Gatorade—Kristen’s go to is Rehydrate from AdvoCare.
Avoid the vacation hangover—get back to your normal routine as soon as you get home. Yes, you had a blast and ate/drank more than normal; but, once you get back from vacation start fueling your body with the right stuff again.
Be active—sitting in my beach chair, staring at the waves and zoning out is my favorite. I not a napper, but have been known to doze off on the beach every once now and then. Get up and move every 30 mins—play in the sand…there are sooo many beach games out there (heck, we even made some up), take a dip in the water, toss a football.
Enjoy yourself, damnit. Vacation is YOUR time. You work hard every single day to earn vacation. Give your mind and body some time to relax and slow down for a few days.
Wear sunscreen 🙂

Healthier drink options:

Corona Premier: 90 calories / 2.6g carb

Michelob Ultra: 95 calories / 2.6g carb

Blue Chair Bay Rum: Ranges from 75-96 calories

*Banana Rum Cream: 75 calories / 8g carb. White Rum: 95 calories/ 0g carb*

Mix with low calorie mixers like 5 calorie Ocean Spray juice mixes, Diet Soda, Club Soda, Seltzer water

Homemade margarita: 102 calories / 7g carb

*2 oz Sauza Gold Tequila + 2 ounces Trop 50 Orange Juice + 2 ounces Roses Lime Juice*

The bottom line? You’ve only got one life to live, and this life is YOURS to live. Tackle your vacation HOW you want and WHEN you want. And be nice to yourself in the process ❤

When it Comes to Exercise, Sometimes Less Is More

May 20, 2018May 7, 2019 LifeOfCarlyBLeave a comment

How many of you…

have wanted quick progress in the gym or push past a plateau? How many of you adopted the mentality that in order to do that, then more was MORE? In other words, the more I workout, the quicker I will get to my goals, because afterall a calorie deficit is what I’m aiming for right? You’ve worked yourself day in and day out, not missing a workout, restricting your calories, and so on. And you get to a point where you are now just so fatigued all the time that you don’t even want to work out, but you do it anyway because that is what is pushing you towards your goals? Maybe you’re not even sure if you’re exercising right – you’re working the same muscle groups each day, you’re always sore, but you don’t know if its right or wrong, but it doesn’t matter because your FitBit tells you that you just burned 800 calories in 2 hours – SCORE! So you develop this relationship with the gym that is nothing short of an obsession.

I’m sure some of you have been there, I have.

But what if I told you that less is more?

That you don’t have to workout 7 days a week, sometimes 2 times a day, and restrict your calories and feel so fatigued you could fall of the treadmill? Maybe you’re not quite that obsessed with the gym, but you still can’t go a day without skipping the gym without feeling guilty. But what if LESS was MORE?

Let’s start here.

Do you know what happens to your body, specifically your muscles when you workout? Let me tell you what most people say to this answer – my body is getting stronger! I’m building my muscles! WRONG. When you exercise you are literally tearing your muscle fibers apart. The growth happens in the rest period. So no, you aren’t getting stronger when you are working out, when you’re curling 50’s and squatting 200’s. No, you are setting your muscles up to get stronger while you are resting. The workout is like the pre-game. The fun stuff, the magic happens AFTER you leave the gym.

When it comes to muscle fiber repair, one of two things can happen leading up to this.

A) You aren’t overloading your muscles enough to break down the muscle fibers enough to a point where they have to be repaired during the rest before. Thus starting a repeating cycle of working your muscles to an almost pointless effort. If you’re not setting them up to repair and get stronger, you are essential wasting your time (Cue encouraging words to start lifting HEAVIER! You will NOT get bulky)

B) You overload too much to a point where your muscles can’t sufficiently repair themselves in the rest period. This can happen from lifting too much weight, but it likely going to be cause from lifting too much weight too frequently (Cue talk on overtraining).

The phenomenon of OverTraining.

Overtraining occurs when you push your body too hard and pass the point that your body is able to recover from. To improve you must overload the muscles and then allow adequate time for recovery and growth by resting. Overtraining occurs when either the overload is too high, or the rest period (recovery time) is too low.

Overtraining in the form of too much intensity on a constant basis, in the form of working out for hours on end, in the form of not challenging your muscles enough but still working them too much, in the form of over exercising and under eating will all hinder your results.

Let me show you a real life example.

At the beginning of my fitness journey I would work out for HOURS upon HOURS and be so freaking happy that I burned 700 calories on a total of 3 different cardio machines combined. I didn’t bother to try to educate myself on proper nutrition, I didn’t really care, because I was working out. I mean at this point, I was an 18 year old who just graduated high school – I was naive. BUT this exercise obsession continued into college, trying to beat the Freshman 15. And here, in college, I discovered that 2-a-days were a thing. UM HELL YEAH sign me up?! More exercise, yes please!

So I exercised, and exercised, and exercised. I was doing too much. I thought I was working at high intensities, but now seeing what I CAN do, I realize that it was definitely only moderate intensities – I couldn’t muster up energy for more!

I became “skinny fat”. Where I would hold on to extra body fat, primarily around my stomach, because my body was screaminggggg for proper nutrition and less exericse, but I didn’t know. My arms and legs looked relatively skinny, but my mid section didn’t exactly match up. My body fat was at a solid 23%, which was in normal range so I was happy with it. And so I kept going- working out 7 days a week for probably, oh 10 hours in total or more.

BUT what happened was I started to get educated. I mean I was now in school for Exercise Science & Health Promotion. And I learned the right way to do things, I actually began to love researching articles on those topics in my free time. I was like WOAH.

(Over-exercising -left VS. Getting it right -right)

So now? Now I exercise 5 days a week and eat more than what I used to – but my body needs it! I’ve figured out how to truly work at my highest intensities. BUT THATS OKAY! Because now I take 2 rest days and I kid you not, I only exercise for a total of 5 hours a week – MAX. Most of my workouts are now between 45 – 55 minutes and IT. IS. GLORIOUS.

And what has happened to my body composition? 8% lower body fat, more muscle, and more personal records. My body is thriving. And it’s because I stopped digging it into a hole I couldn’t get it out of.

(Too much cardio, not enough strength VS. getting it right)

My point is not to brag about what I’ve done, but rather show you that LESS IS MORE when it comes to your exercise, and WHY that is true.

Is it tempting to want to exercise more, to hit the gym after a night of rough eating, even though it isn’t supposed to be on the schedule? Absolutely. Do I sometimes do extra? Sometimes, yes. But I make sure that if I’m doing an extra workout it’s because I want to not because I’m trying to punish myself.

Working out less and eating more [of the right things and right proportions] are the hardest thing to wrap my clients minds around. But it WORKS. Results will 110% not come over night. Hell, you won’t have your “dream body” (whatever the hell that means) in one month. Nope, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. And the patience needed for that is something that is LONG GONE in this day in age where we all have access to instant gratification.

But do yourself a favor. Love yourself enough to do things the right way. Eat right, exercise right, and give yourself a solid 6 MONTHS to start seeing the progress you want. Hell, it has taken me FIVE YEARS.

Let that sink in.

For more tips & tricks, or just to have the tea spilled in your inbox weekly, subscribe to my email list! CLICK HERE, new friend 🙂

In health,

Carly

What I’m Learning About Being a Twenty-Something Trying to Make Her Way in This World

January 9, 2017May 29, 2019 LifeOfCarlyB1 Comment

Graduate college they said, it’ll be fun they said.

It is, but it’s not. Okay that sounds pessimistic but life after college takes a lot more brainpower than I would have thought. And that’s a crazy idea saying as college seemed to suck the life out of my brain, especially during finals.

One day you are in college, embracing every single opportunity, not thinking twice about much. You know that you have deadlines to meet, but realize that some of them are flexible. You know that you have friends down the hall who will meet you out every Friday night. Cooking your own food? Never. That’s what dining halls are for. Doing your own laundry? Pfft. that is what weekend trips home to mom are for 😉 College is sweet. College, in retrospective, is easy.

The real world is bat shit crazy at times, but it is also cooler than a popsicle 😉

Here’s some things I’ve learned to be true about the real world…

You’ll never figure it all out.

For example, these conclusions I’m drawing about figuring out life, I’m sure will change in just another short year. But for real, this is one of my biggest downfalls (and I’m figuring out that I have many), trying to figure everything out, all the time. Being twenty-something seems old once you get there, as soon as you get that diploma you feel like you’ve aged 10-15 years, or at least I did. And when you feel older you are already pressurizing yourself with feelings of having to figure everything out. Figure out tonight’s dinner, next week’s plans, next months budget, this summers vacation, your job, your friends, your family, your home, and soooo onnnn. Sometimes it’s hard not to. But why? At 26 years old I have 100X more things on my mind, more responsibilities that I feel I need to figure out than I did just 5 short years ago at age 18. The media publicizes so many opinions now-a-days, making you think you need to be this size, have this much in your wallet at this age, be ready for kids by now, blah, blah, blah. It publicizes people who have their shit together, or so we are led to believe. Like get real, Taylor Swift who Time Magazine has called the highest paid celebrity in 2016 was only 27- TWENTY SEVEN. Kendall Jenner, worth $18 million dollars, at age 21. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson, $300 million, at age 30. These celebrities are our age, us twenty-something year olds, and the media publicizes them as people who have made it. And maybe they have, maybe Taylor Swifts extreme talent and the way she cares about her fans motivates me to dream BIG and never lose sight, but her, or their net worth doesn’t mean they have everything figured out, it’s just money. Which leads me to my next point

Your wallet doesn’t define you.

I’ve had $200 in my wallet and I’ve had $0 in my wallet in any given month. Have I had nervous breakdowns when my wallet and my bank accounts get low and my credit card gets high? You bet. Does it take me awhile to realize how ridiculous this is and convince myself to be better next time, oh yeah. Do I do better next time? Eh only about 25% of the time. I feel old, and I feel like my wallet is small in comparison. But why? I DON’T KNOW. For goodness sake, I have no idea why I have all of these nervous breakdowns. I’m here right now telling myself that my wallet doesn’t define me, only 3 short hours after nervously checking my bank accounts wondering how I’m going to make ends meet. Finances are tough, for everyone. But guess what you are TWENTY-SOMETHING years old and most likely in student loan debt at the least, SO WHAT! They are just short term finances, and I’m learning that it’s better to feel in control of them, no matter how small they are, then to let them control you. Plus, I’ve learned it’s the BEST to be smart with your money, and save it starting NOW than to feel good about having a higher $ amount in your wallet. Look at that savings account, try to build that. Live like no one else NOW so you can live like no one else in 20 years. You are not defined by money, and when you make millions someday, I hope you remember this.

Don’t let your ego stop you from gaining work experience.

I’ve had many duties in my workplace already, many have been the exact things I want to do, few have not. But those duties that you might not want to do, aren’t the ones to say no to, because those duties are the ones that give you experience, real experience. Trust me on this. Applying yourself in a different way than you are comfortable, stepping out of your comfort zone, being humble and doing a job below you teaches you something about your work ethic, and it lets you reflect on your true career goals. Plus, sometimes these jobs are the ones you make the best connections with, you might find your next job reference, or someone who knows someone to get you into that dream job. You are TWENTY-SOMETHING years old, don’t let your ego hinder you. Being an intern is okay, starting small in a place where you can grow is okay. Work an underpaid job for a few months to appreciate the big job when you get it. But you have to be smart about your time-management with these jobs, which brings me to my next point.

Jobs come and go, real experiences with friends and family don’t.

I’m learning, and this is one thing that I can proudly say I’ve already gotten better at, is that over-working yourself and missing out on real life fun leaves you with nothing fun to look back on. Work hard at your job, appreciate it, and try to make strides in the workplace, but know when to stop, to clock out for the day and go home. You are TWENTY-SOMETHING years old, don’t waste it at your job. Being young in the workplace it is easy to be looked down on, to be viewed as an “intern” even if you have the same experience as your elder coworkers. If asked to go above and beyond your job duties, or hours, know when to say no. You are asked to go grab coffee for others, think about this. Am I going to get coffee for myself? If so, be kind and get others coffee. Am I already nose deep into reports and don’t have time to go to the bathroom? Say no, kindly. You are asked to pick up another shift, and then another, and then another. Know when to say no. Sometimes it’s right to say yes, you just need to. Sometimes you say yes because you absolutely love what the specific shift has to bring– and that is okay! But know that next time if it comes around and you have cocktail night planned, that it is okay to say no. Saying yes once, doesn’t mean saying yes all the time. Clock out early today, go spend time with loved ones, and do not feel guilty about it.

Your friends matter, your family matters.

This is a short and easy one. These are the people that have always been there for you, and who will always be there for you, regardless of your place in the world. Use them for help, use them for shoulder to cry on, for an ear to listen. Have fun with them when the world feels like its hitting you hard. Don’t push these people away, they are your people, and they get you.

Dive into recreational activities.

This is one thing I am working on. Most likely, many of us are no longer athletes who have a coach and a team to report to 3-6 days out of the week. No, we are TWENTY-SOMETHING year olds who feel old. But we’re not! Find a rec volleyball league, basketball league, kickball league. Go painting once a week, join a book club (and this does NOT make you old, it makes you wise). Find something to immerse yourself in when everything else seems to be moving at top speed. These are the things that can slow your day down, put a smile on your face, and even introduce you to new people. Because let’s face it sometimes fresh souls are good for our own. They could be great new friends, future references, the person who knows someone who knows someone, or someone you actually don’t get along with, which is a learning experience in itself. Plus, it’s good for your health to stay active, go find a rec league, take a load off.

Appreciate your elders.

If not for anything else, but because they won’t be around forever. But these are also the people who you likely look at as ‘wise’, and how do you think they got wise? Listen to their stories, their personal experiences, listen to what made them the wise person they are and why. We won’t find that at our age, we just won’t. Being a TWENTY-SOMETHING year old gives us a lot less time for personal life experiences. Plus, sitting back and listening to their stories can put your life into a lot better perspective.

You will fall flat on your face sometimes.

You have to get back up. Every. Single. Time.

______________________________________

So one day you’re in college, but you know what, one day you are also in the real world, and that is pretty fricking awesome. You might not be able to meet your friends out on Thursday nights every week, but you can meet them out for cocktails on Wednesday night without a fake ID, because that is just the cool thing to do. You can stay at home on Friday with a glass of wine and watch your puppies run around, instead of watching school equations run off the paper you’re studying. You can buy a new vacuum and feel like an absolute rock star because of it, instead of feeling like a millionaire when you finally fill your tank all the way up (oh the typical college kid move, we all did it). Being in the real world has responsibilities, new experiences, new people, new stresses and excitements, but these are what shape your life, that shape you. Embrace them all. They’re your future.

Thanks for stopping by!

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In health,

Carly

Hey You, You Can Do This

January 2, 2017 LifeOfCarlyBLeave a comment

Hey you, you can do this!

But what ‘can’ I do?

Whatever today is bringing you, I’m here to remind you that you can do it! Roll out of bed with the attitude to take on the world. Step out your front door into the crisp air with the attitude to take on the world. Drive in your car, get to your destination, with the attitude to take on the world. Cook a nice meal, take a nice shower, and go to bed with the attitude to take on the world again tomorrow.

January 2, 2017. To many it is “A New Year”. The chance to start over, to start fresh, to set resolutions. To others a “New Year” is simply another turn in the calendar, and maybe you just keep trucking through life without any resolutions to be set. Regardless of whatever to day means to you, we are all somewhere in life, and we all have somewhere to go.

Maybe today you are starting a new goal, or maybe today you are still striving towards old goals. Maybe today you are saying hello to a new place, or maybe today you are saying goodbye to an old one. Maybe today you woke up and put on 2 left shoes that didn’t match with coffee spills on your shirt, or maybe today things are just going your way and your hair is on point. Maybe today your jeans are fitting a little snug, or maybe today you are reflecting on the 50 lbs you lost last year with desire to keep it up! Maybe today you are starting a new job, or maybe today you are ending an old one. Maybe today you are running on 2 hours of sleep with not nearly enough caffeine to get you through the day, or maybe today you woke up with the most refreshing nights sleep you’ve had in awhile. Maybe today you are hating on Monday, or maybe today you are ready to take on the world, take on the year.

Today you could be embarking on something new, continuing an old adventure, saying goodbye to a loved one, greeting a new born child, and the list could go on. But what is common about today for all of us? That we can do it. If you are setting resolutions I hope you light them with so much fire that even the biggest hurricane couldn’t burn them out. Feel that fire, feel that drive, and never let it go, because it is a wonderful feeling. If you are already feeling on top of the world- you’ve reached last years goals, you are on top of your job, of your fitness, of your life- if you just feel put together- walk around today with a humble attitude. Feel grateful for what you have and what you’ve accomplished. Heck, use that to encourage, motivate, and help others.

Everyone is at a different point in their life, in today, but we can thrive off each other. Build someone up today, I dare you.