What a f*cking buzzword right now, am I right?
It’s something I’ve practiced, and something I’ve preached for years now.
But now? Someone will look at a cupcake while drinking an ounce of water and #hashtagbalance
It’s cool, I want you all to have balance. I want you all to experience the freedom that comes with balance.
But let’s talk about what balance actually is, and how you can achieve it.
And friend, I’m not talking about finding balance between the hours you spend in the gym and the amount of donuts you put in your mouth like the 15.4M hashtags on Instagram suggest. I’m talking about balance in your f*cking LIFE.
Oh yeah, I’m fired up.
Finding life balance: how do we do it? What does it look like?
Well, it looks different for everyone.
To someone, it could be learning to allow themselves to enjoy a burger on the weekend, without running 10 miles the next day to work it off. To them, that’s a balance win, simply enjoying that burger. Because in the past, their need for self-control would have taken over, and they would have eaten half a salad and brought the other half home for lunch the next day, all while watching their friends gorge themselves in nachos and beer.
To someone else it’s letting go of toxic relationships. Because they understand the value of living their life for THEM. The value of being surrounded by uplifting people. They’ve learned that their life has been out of balance for awhile now, so they looked around them at what could be throwing that equilibrium off kilter.
Or for someone else it’s letting their mom watch their 4-month-old child for a few hours so they can go to the gym and then get a massage. It’s the balance of being a good mom by taking care of their child while also being a good mom while taking care of themselves.
Or to a yogi, balance might quite literally mean the ability to stand on one’s head.
To me? Balance is doing whatever the f*ck I please, not recklessly, but in a way where I don’t have to overthink it. If I want to have late night pizza two nights in a row after drinking beer and Malibu all day, like I did last weekend, I can. My lifestyle supports that. I drink water like a fish every day. So much that I probably piss out enough clear water to hydrate an underdeveloped country. I work out hard, and smart, 4-5 days a week. My lifestyle supports my desire to indulge when I want and where I want.
To me, it is also staying in with my husband on a Friday night and then going out with the girls on Saturday. Life, and relationships, demand balance too.
To me, it is sleeping in on my days off to catch up on that deeply needed sleep. Even if my schedule says it’s time to workout, if my body needs sleep, it gets sleep (as much as I can manipulate my schedule to allow that though. This is the hardest area for me to find balance).
To me, it’s giving myself some leniency in my daily checklist. Sometimes I just can’t get everything done. Some days I volunteer with animal rescue, but that means I don’t have time to walk my dogs. That day. Some days I clean the whole freaking house, and some days I only clean up after my dinner mess and go watch New Girl instead of vacuuming the floors. Some days I win the mental battle of looking on the bright side of things, and other days I don’t. Some weeks my days balance each other out. Good day, then bad day, back to a good day. Quite frankly, balance looks different on each given day, because each day demands something different out of me. But that, that, is the beauty of balance. It’s figuring out where there are high and low points that don’t meet the equilibrium. Sometimes, often times, it’s about looking at the bigger picture. What you learn to balance today will help you learn to balance the bigger picture, and that bigger picture is your life.
And that’s my point.
Balance is more, balance is so freaking much more.
I want you to have balance in multiple aspects of your life. Hell, I even want you to find a way to balance those aspects of your life out. To find a point where all areas of your life can coincide in harmony, without one pulling and weighing you down harder than the other. Woah, big statement, I know.
Here’s some ways to start:
1) Look at the areas of your life that are draining you, first.
Where can you cut the cord, where can you improve? Let’s start there. Because likely, these areas that are draining you are some of the biggest aspects of your life. It’s best to balance out the largest scale you have first, then work on the smaller ones. Because if you start small, you might miss the point when they become balanced, because other, unbalanced areas, will be weighing them down disproportionally.
2) Look at how you treat yourself.
Out of everyone you come in contact with, do you treat yourself the most poorly? Are you treating yourself like dirt, not giving yourself a break, running yourself into the ground? I’m going to answer that for you. Yes, you are. We all do it. We are all hardest on yourself. Now this isn’t a quick fix, but look for the area that you can give yourself a double high five in first. Have you been making progress in the gym? Double high five! Now stop beating yourself up over those last few pounds (because news flash, they actually don’t matter!). Is your relationship at its highest point ever? Are you and your significant other thriving together (maybe at the cost of some friendships, but hey cut that cord). Okay, cool, double high five! How about your job? Your kids? Your mental health, sleep health, skin health, etc.? Chances are you have been making big strides in at least one area of your life, but you haven’t been able to see it because you have been tearing yourself down for so long, over so many things. It’s time to start realizing when progress is happening, and freaking celebrate!
3) Learn this definition, & remind yourself of it daily:
an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady.
You my friend, you are the “something” that needs to be upright and steady. Not leaning on something or someone. You don’t need a crutch, you just need you, standing upright and steady like a damn brick wall, all by your damn self!
4) Now write this down on a sticky note and post it every freaking where:
“I am the writer of my own storybook”.
In case you forgot, the only person who can change the trajectory of your life is YOU, and God, but He knows where you’re going long before you do, and He wants to watch you see yourself through it.
5) And finally, buddy up!
I believe everything in life is better with a buddy, but only if that buddy is vibing the way you are. If you’re trying to be better about finding balance with your nutritional choices, don’t do it with a buddy who will always encourage the unhealthy choice. If you’re trying to find balance with taking care of your family while taking care of yourself, a buddy who mom shames is not the buddy for you. You get the point?
Balance is freedom. It is not a free for all.
To have balance you must be able to know when you need to subtract or add things from each side. When one side is too heavy, it feels too heavy, it weighs you down.
Freedom to say yes to things that positively affect your life.
Freedom to do things that lift you up instead of bring you down.
Freedom to feel guilt free, to not overthink, to just simply be.
Balance is having a mimosa in each hand my friends.
One for you, and one for your buddy.
Or maybe two for you, if that’s how you’re vibing that day, it’s okay to be selfish
Don’t think too hard about it. Just pour the bubbly into those cups. Maybe bubbles aren’t your thing, maybe you’d rather fill your cups with water, a bloody mary, or an ice cold fountain pop. Whatever it may be, I need you fill your cup, fill it to the brim baby! But make sure its filled to the brim with the very best. Fill those cups with a smile and positive energy.
Most importantly, make sure that all of your cups are filling equally.
Because no one likes to get gypped on mimosas.
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