Should You Use a Seating Chart For Your Wedding?

Just one more item that you need to check off of your to-do list, or shall we call it “decision list”?

A seating chart for your guests at the wedding- yay or nay?

Ultimately, it comes down to preference, and there is never a right or wrong answer. 

But let me tell you about my experience.

We did a seating chart, and here’s why.

A couple years before our wedding, we went to a wedding where we knew practically no one. I knew the bride, my then boyfriend – now husband had maybe met her once or twice prior. So yeah, that qualifies as knowing pretty much no one. The reception was held in this grand room with tables surround a big dance floor. And there were A LOT of tables, but to be fair there were also a lot of guests.

Picture this: we walk into this grand room and look around at not only all of the tables, but all of the people mingling around them who knew each other and were catching up like old friends (because they were). We looked at each other like “now what”. We didn’t know where to sit, there was no guidance. So we chose a table that had yet to be claimed and we sat there, assuming that at least a few other people would fill the remaining 8 chairs at the table.

The most awkward part? People looked at those empty chairs, and then at us, and realized they didn’t know us so they kept walking. In my opinion, there was nothing that eluded to the fact that we could have been saving those chairs for someone, not one bit. We consider ourselves to be very friendly and outgoing people, and we had hoped that someone would fill those chairs so we weren’t left looking like a couple of Steven Glansberg (a Superbad reference, a kid who eats alone at lunch). But nonetheless, no one sat down. Oh, hello, Steven Glansberg #1 and #2. It was awkward.

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Two plus years later when it came time to plan our wedding, I knew without a doubt that I wanted a seating chart. Did my mom agree at first? No, not quite. But here are the PROS, and the reasons why I think having a seating chart is necessary (although more work on YOU, but more beneficial to everyone later on)

  • You’ll have no Steven Glansberg’s at the wedding
  • You can help facilitate new friendships
  • No one comes looking for you in a frenzy asking your opinion on where to sit. They read the board, the cards, or whatever, and know where to go
  • It’s cheaper!

Without a seating chart you have to account for 2 or more extra tables because although you’d like to think everyone would just fill in all of the chairs, they won’t, and there will be tables leftover with empty chairs (like ours). So say you have 180 guests coming, you’ll need enough tables and chairs to seat 200+. And yes, that also includes the extra linens, silverware, etc. that you’ll have to buy or rent to go with those extra chairs.

Let me just finish by saying….

Do a little extra effort yourself up front, to avoid annoying and frequently asked questions on your wedding day (OmG, like WHERE do i SiT?!?!) and also save people the embarrassment of watching people look at the them and then deliberately not sit with them like a bunch of high school cliques.

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My one extra tip, is to be an over-planner and over-organizer with the seating chart, and relay that information in the clearest possible way to whoever is setting up the tables. I say this because I had to split my extended family into multiple tables (my family is large) but the idea was that they would be in 3 tables in a triangle with each other. Well, the layout of the tables got screwed up (even though I used this online platform where you literally place the tables, the head table, the cake, etc. where you want) and so one of the tables ended up clear on the other side of the room. My mom was like “why did you put X,Y,Z so far from everyone else?” Well mom, they weren’t supposed to be.

Plan, organize, plan, execute.

Happy wedding planning!

Got additional questions for a recent bride-in-planning?

Holla at me!

lifeofcarlyb@gmail.com

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Or check out recent wedding related posts here:

"to the girl planning her wedding"

"the one thing I wish I would have done on my wedding day"

The One Thing I Wish I Would Have Done on My Wedding Day

Take. it. all. in.

Five minutes of uninterrupted silence with my new husband.

Watching everyone from a birds eye view.

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People say it all the time, to take it all in on your wedding day. You think “duh, why wouldn’t I do that?!” But regardless, it’s the advice everyone tells you leading up to the big day.

But what they fail to explain is what they really mean when they say to take it all in.

I remember going up to my husband at least 3 times during our wedding and putting my hands on his shoulders to look him straight in the eye and say “this is our reminder to take it all in“. And looking back, the whole night was still a blur! It’s not that we weren’t taking it all in, I mean we were! We just weren’t taking it all in as just the two of us. Instead, we stayed in the midst of it all, center stage, life of the party, so we took it in as us and 150 other people. And that’s how the night blurs together. The alcohol didn’t have much of a factor in that, especially in the earlier hours, and yet we still got pictures back from our photographer where I’m like wtf when did that happen?! (Thank goodness for photographers and videographers though! If you don’t have one booked for your wedding then you are sorely fooling yourself).

Here’s the truth. The day goes by both slow and lightning speed fast, and there are moments you can’t decipher between the two speeds. But before you know it, it’s over, and you’re sitting there the next morning with the biggest smile on your face with your new spouse, trying to piece together parts of the night.

So take it all in my friend.

Set an alarm on your phone.

And when that goes off, make sure no excuse, no matter how big, can hold you back from grabbing your new husband or wife to get away together for 5 quiet minutes together with a bottle of champagne.

If you can, find a birds eye view to watch everyone who gathered there today for you, everyone who you love, mingle together having the best time.

And if it’s your style, take a quick 10 second video of all that action.

And then put the phones away and anything else that can serve as a distraction and just sit there. Together. Breathe deeply. and take. it. all. in.

 

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Health, love, and happiness from a former bride,

Carly B